Blog
The Spirit of Partnership
Sep 02, 2010
Betty Jeanne Rueters-Ward reflects on how her time in Phoenix intersected with her work in anti-racist education and national movement building
Betty Jeanne, Linda Wells, Gini Courter and Susan LeslieIt’s been a month since I left Arizona. Of all the blessings I experienced there, the greatest was witnessing the spirit of partnership among those working for human rights.
I went to Arizona as a Unitarian Universalist (and Catholic) faith-based organizer in support of the Standing on the Side of Love campaign. I also went as a leader with Catalyst Project, a center for anti-racist education and national movement building. Catalyst works with predominantly white sectors of Left social movements, with two goals: 1) deepening anti-racist commitment among white folks, and 2) building effective multiracial coalitions for social and environmental justice.
While working in Unitarian Universalist organizations, studying at Starr King School for the Ministry, and managing my first political campaigns, Catalyst provided me with loving mentorship and transformative training for my anti-racist development. I was humbled to realize I was just one of many Uus whom Catalyst supported – others included national leaders from Young Religious Unitarian Universalists, Diverse Revolutionary Unitarian Universalist Multicultural Ministries, Allies for Racial Equity, and Groundwork (a multiracial, multigenerational collective of UU anti-racist organizers).
Most recently, Unitarian Universalists stepped up as mentors, trainers, donors, and participants in the Anne Braden Training Program, Catalyst’s four-month intensive for white social justice activists. UUs are also rapidly joining the U.S. for All of Us: No Room for Racism network. U.S. for All of Us is a national initiative for white folks to take coordinated action for social justice, working in accountable partnership with people of color-led movements. From its start, Unitarian Universalists linked U.S. for All of Us with Standing on the Side of Love, a campaign that emerged around the same time, with similar values and messaging. The two campaigns shared a strategic priority: immigrant justice. After this year’s UUA General Assembly and the United States Social Forum – held in the same week – Unitarian Universalist participation in U.S. for All of Us skyrocketed.
My positive experiences with each of these organizations moved me to go to Arizona. Still, like many preparing for the SB1070 Day of Noncompliance, I had my doubts. In late June, I participated in the United States Social Forum in Detroit, where Puente, the National Day Laborer Organizing Network (NDLON) and other immigrant-led organizations shared their stories, strategies, and visions. Most called on their allies for a coordinated boycott of Arizona. The same week in Minneapolis, my fellow Unitarian Universalists voted to in favor of keeping their UUA 2012 General Assembly in Phoenix, committing to radically transform the convention into a mobilization for immigrant justice.
Chris Crass and Betty JeanneI worried about how we as UUs – particularly those from out of state – would show up in Phoenix, in 2012 and sooner. Would we be humble, and follow the leadership of those most affected? Would we do what local organizations asked of us, or try to set an agenda ourselves? Would we practice patience, compassion, and accountability even in the most challenging moments? Would we use the media for own our gain or for that of the larger movement? Would we support the boycott, even as it meant dramatically shifting the culture and economy of our 2012 gathering? Would those of us who were white (as the majority of our faith movement is) step up to our particular responsibility to take action against racism?
I did all I could to connect the community organizers I knew, as each mobilized their base in opposition to SB1070. As the bumper sticker goes, “the most radical thing we can do is introduce people to one another.” Meanwhile, I agonized over what kind of leadership and legacy we Unitarian Universalists would offer as we went to Arizona.
And then, I experienced it – that beautiful spirit of partnership, of collaboration. I’ll share just a few snapshots, as I heard them
More >Where were you when they started burning the Quran?
A couple of weeks ago, the Standing on the Side of Love campaign asked us to urge President Obama to take a stronger stand for religious freedom. This week, a coalition of faith groups echoed this message when they met with the Justice Department to encourage the Obama administration to take a more public stance against anti-Muslim hate speech and hate crimes.
Unfortunately, however, anti-Muslim hate speech and hate crimes are spreading. In the past couple of weeks alone:
- A man was arrested for shouting anti-Muslim slurs as he urinated outside a mosque in the Astoria section of Queens.
- A 21-year-old college student is accused of repeatedly stabbing a Manhattan taxi driver after asking if the driver is Muslim.
- Fire was set to a planned mosque and Islamic Center in a Memphis, Tennessee suburb.
Here in my home of Gainesville, Fla., a local fringe church known for its anti-Muslim and anti-LGBT rhetoric has been getting national media attention for their planned “Burn a Quran Day” on Sept. 11th.
That is why in Gainesville we are taking a strong stand. We are participating in a Gainesville March for Peace, actively working with a new interfaith organization to address these issues, and taking part in interfaith prayer services in partnership with the Muslim community. Can you stand with me, my town, and my Muslim neighbors here and throughout the world and plan or attend a local solidarity event?
Click here to join or post a solidarity event in support of religious freedom and tolerance.
We are also collecting discarded political yard signs from the recent primary elections and holding a gathering at our congregation to recycle them into creative declarations of religious tolerance and freedom to be displayed around town. In addition, many local clergy will join me in sharing common readings from the Quran at our September 10-12 worship services.
In the past, I have heard from the Islamic community that they have concerns that responding to such attacks might give more attention to the hate group planning them. Now, amid the Quran burnings in our town, the dangerous anti-Muslim political rhetoric, the destruction of property, the harassment, and the violence, we have reached the point at which it is our silence — not our response — that magnifies the power of the other side’s message.
In an environment immersed in fear, it is the responsibility of all who have the ability to stand for what is right to speak out. It may still be the best strategy for Muslims themselves to bear this insult in silence. That’s not my call. I would certainly understand not wanting to perpetuate an image as “angry.” Non-Muslims, however, don’t run that risk. For us, the risk is that our children will someday ask us: “Where were you when they started burning the Quran in Gainesville?”
At your Friday, Saturday, or Sunday service on September 10, 11, or 12, plan to say a few words about religious diversity and freedom. Talk about what’s going on in Gainesville and New York and Tennessee and elsewhere. Urge your friends, neighbors, coworkers, and congregants to stand on the side of love and respect for religious diversity. And by all means, participate in local events supporting peace and religious freedom.
Thank you for standing on the side of love.
God bless us every one,
Rev. Dr. Meredith Garmon, Senior Minister
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Gainesville
P.S. To access some useful readings from the Quran you can use in your service or event, click here.
My Big Fat Straight Wedding
Aug 20, 2010
I am married! My wife, Meredith Schonfeld Hicks, and I were wed on August 8th at my family’s cabin in Ely, Minnesota. It was the most amazing weekend of my life. We organized an entire weekend of fun complete with a Greek themed rehearsal feast, an afternoon BBQ, nighttime bonfire and karaoke, guided outdoor activities and, of course, our ceremony and a raucous reception.
Over the course of our 19 month engagement, we put countless hours into the planning of this wedding and every second was worth it. It far exceeded our expectations. We treasured every moment of our wedding, knowing that it was truly a once-in-a-lifetime occasion. Our spirits soared when we saw the face of our friend who had flown in from Pakistan, received a blessing from Meredith’s 91 year old grandfather, heard our processional music being played by my best friends from high school, or danced the night away with so many of the people who have supported us and loved us at every stage of our lives.
But, as we all know, every wedding has its drama and ours was no exception. After a ladies’ afternoon at the spa on Friday went sour because of horrible customer service, Meredith said to me, “People just love wedding drama. I’ve had six people come up and say, ‘what happened at the spa? Are you okay?’ Am I supposed to be falling apart or something?”
Interestingly though, no one asked us about the most dramatic (and traumatic) part of our wedding. Getting legally married was the most shocking and trying part of our journey towards marriage.
We never had a doubt about spending the rest of our lives together. We savored every moment of designing our religious marriage ceremony. But along our journey to get legally married, we both got cold feet.
First of all, we had procrastinated getting a marriage license until several weeks before. With very little time to spare we went to the Ramsey County Department of Public Health to submit our application for a marriage license. On that day we had the most jarring experience along our road to marriage.
When filling out the form we cringed when we had to sign the following oath.
“I, the undersigned, hereby apply for a license to marry and declare upon oath that all the above answers and statements of fact are true and correct; that neither of us has a spouse living; that neither of us is a mentally deficient person committed to the guardianship or conservatorship of the Commissioner of Human Services and that one of the applicants is a man and the other a woman.”
Reading the last line of that oath made our hearts sink. But it wasn’t until we turned it over to the clerk that the language really sunk in. She looked it over and happily asked us to raise our right hands and take an oath. We did not know what this next oath would be. I thought this would be some sort of legal vows or something at least somewhat uplifting. It was an exciting moment and we slid our left hands under the counter and held hands.
Both our hands went completely limp when she began reading the same language we had already signed. It was one thing to scribble my signature below a distasteful oath; it felt entirely different to speak my affirmation. We took the oath and walked out to our car in silence.
Seven days later, Meredith went back and picked up the certificate. We still had to decide how we would incorporate the actual signing of the certificate, by an officiant and two witnesses, into our wedding weekend. We spoke with our friend and ceremony officiant, Rev. Meg Riley, and decided to keep our legal marriage separate from our religious marriage by having a separate officiant for our legal marriage. Thankfully, I have no shortage of ministers in my life, so my Uncle Tim, a Lutheran minister in Minnesota (a wonderful straight-ally) discreetly officiated our legal marriage after our religious ceremony.
On our wedding day, our photographer was hovering nearby as our siblings signed our marriage certificate as witnesses and she asked Meredith and I to hold it up for a photo. We did as directed, but in all the frenzy of staged photographs that day, that picture with our marriage license was the only one I didn’t really want to be in. We had taken pictures with our families who love us unconditionally and with our entire group of guests who had just blessed our union. But that picture with our certificate was like taking a picture with a state that doesn’t love unconditionally nor bless the unions of so many. I posed for the picture, because it was I who invited the state to my wedding, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to smile.
Cold feet or not, Meredith and I are legally wed. We now have access to hundreds of privileges, most of which we aren’t even aware of yet. August 8th will always be a day when we will reflect upon how much we love each other and how lucky we are to have so many wonderfully supportive friends and family in our lives. It will also be a day when we rededicate ourselves to our calling to stand on the side of love.
That reminds me, I think you’d like to know that Standing on the Side of Love was very present at our wedding. I wore my Standing on the Side of Love t-shirt the morning of my wedding, “standing on the side of love” was said in Meredith father’s toast and multiple times during our ceremony – including at the very heart of our ceremony. We wrote our vows together and right there in the middle we vowed to “seek out the holy, walk gently upon the earth, and to stand on the side of love.”
Every time we practiced our vows that line made us smile. I smiled for three reasons. First, it felt a little bit like product placement; second, it made me think of all the fun I had working with all of you to bring the Standing on the Side of Love campaign to life; and third, I felt incredibly blessed to have found a partner who was vowing to stand on the side of love with me, and with all of you, for the rest of our lives.
Blessings,
Adam Gerhardstein
More >Urge President Obama to Remain Steadfast
Aug 19, 2010
In the past few weeks, anti-Muslim voices have become deafening. In some cases, these same voices are the ones casting aspersions against immigrants, LGBT people, and people of color. Thankfully, several prominent individuals have spoken out in support of religious freedom, including family members of those who were killed on Sept. 11, 2001, and conservatives like former solicitor general Ted Olson, NJ Governor Chris Christie, and former GOP Rep. Vin Weber.
President Obama has also spoken out. When speaking to a group of Muslims dining at the White House, he said: “This is America. Our commitment to religious freedom must be unshakable. The principle that people of all faiths are welcome in this country, and that they will not be treated differently by their government, is essential to who we are.”
The Standing on the Side of Love campaign is founded on the ideal of a world where no one is denied freedom or equality because of who they are, whether they have been marginalized because of their sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, gender, disability, or any other fundamental aspect of their identity — including their religion.
This past weekend, anti-immigrant activists staged rallies in Texas and Arizona, with some holding up Confederate flags, and Nazi swastikas. A nondenominational church in Gainesville, Fla. is hosting an “International Burn a Quran Day” on the ninth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks. Protests are happening nationwide against the proposed expansion of a Muslim cultural center that has been in downtown Manhattan for 27 years, but has outgrown its present location.
On the heels of increasing anti-immigrant rhetoric, the prevalence of Muslim-bashing is even more alarming. I believe we must take action.
Please let the President know that you support love over fear, and that you agree with him when he says that Muslims “have the same right to practice their religion as everyone else in the country.” Email him today expressing your desire for all Americans – including Muslims – to feel welcome in the communities they live in, and free to worship as they choose.
When we stand on the side of love, we agree to not turn a blind eye to bigotry, oppression and discrimination. We share our highest ideals and allow ourselves to be inspired by others in our community. We take action to make life better for those who are marginalized. And we speak as people of faith who value acceptance, equality, and above all else, love.
In partnership and equality,
Dan Furmansky
Campaign Manager
What it means to be Standing on the Side of Love
Recently, I was called to bear witness to my faith’s ideals of compassion and the inherent worth and dignity of all people in Phoenix, AZ.
Wearing a bright yellow Standing on the Side of Love t-shirt, I prayed, walked, marched, and was even arrested with many Unitarian Universalists and other individuals who share our values. They, too, were called and compelled to stand with people of color in Phoenix who are targeted and terrorized by local police everyday.
Upon my release and return to my faith community, I feel more energized than ever about our Standing on the Side of Love work. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of fellowship, compassion, and connectedness with all who share our values. Watch this short video that really captures that feeling of what it truly means to be Standing on the Side of Love:
Our Standing on the Side of Love work has just begun and I call on you now to stand with us for justice, equality, and peace. You can do this by making a generous gift today. Your gift will help us support local congregations that call on us to organize, mobilize, and energize local Unitarian Universalists to raise our moral voices on the most pressing social justice issues of our time including human rights, environmental justice, and full equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.
We must be tireless practitioners of hope, knowledge, and love. Together, we can help create a new reality where the law of our land reflects the highest moral ideals of our people.
Stand with us. Donate today. Thank you.
In faith,
Reverend Peter Morales
President of the UUA
