Apr 12, 2013
A couple weeks ago, hundreds of people witnessed for marriage equality as the Supreme Court heard arguments on the constitutionality of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and California Proposition 8.
Among them were dozens of Unitarian Universalists! Check out our video to hear from these committed activists why they stand on the side of love:
Special thanks to our colleague Annette Marquis for putting together this great video.
Apr 11, 2013
This post was written by Rev. James Ismael Ford of the First Unitarian Church of Providence. (Credit: Jessica Duckett)
I’ve been told that a minister is supposed to provide a “non-anxious” presence. I can tell you that the run up to Sunday the 7th, I was anything but non-anxious. I can only say I was at one with my anxiety. We were trying to bring two denominational heads together to make public statements in favor of marriage equality in Rhode Island and in our country.
Both Rev. Peter Morales, president of the Unitarian Universalist Association, and Rev. Geoffrey Black, general minister of the United Church of Christ, are committed long time supporters of LGBTQ rights, so their willingness was never in doubt. But, they have many obligations and trying to get them here at the same time and as part of the run up to the senate taking its votes, well, that seemed almost impossible.
But, in a minor evidence of the existence of a deity, and one benevolent and supportive of equal rights for all people, not to mention a lot of work by a lot of people, it happened. At ten o’clock Rev. Black preached good news at Beneficent Congregational Church, and at ten thirty Rev. Morales spoke to the heart of LGBTQ rights as human rights and as a spiritual imperative at the First Unitarian Church of Providence.
As the service at First Unitarian ended, we had our ordinary coffee hour, but instead of winding down, while some people headed out, others started arriving from Unitarian Universalist and United Church of Christ congregations as their worship services ended, as well as non-churched people who had heard of these progressive ministers who were going to make a public statement about a critical civil rights issue for our times. Lt. Governor Elizabeth Roberts even made a brief appearance to thank Revs. Black and Morales for their support.
Revs. Ford, Black, Morales and others sing a hymn at the program. (Credit: Jessica Duckett)
By one o’clock our “Stand Up for Love” program kicked off with a rocking music led by Kate Katzberg, Mo Methot, and the First Unitarian band. At one thirty as Lynda Gulley took to the piano as Revs. Black and Morales as well as other local religious leaders came into the historic Meeting House to join with a crowd of about three hundred and fifty people. Gene Dyszlewski, the First Unitarian Church’s community minister for social justice, as well as leader of the religious coalition for marriage equality, invited greetings. Betsy Garland, president of the Rhode Island Council of Churches, and Donald Anderson, Executive Director, both made statements of welcome.
Rev. Black led off with a rousing call to human rights. And Rev. Morales brought it home with a call to action. Members of Rhode Islanders for Marriage were present to sign people up to volunteer.
We concluded the program with an old hymn, “We’ll Build a Land,” combing words from the prophets Amos and Isaiah. The refrain filled the room, “Come build a land where sisters and brothers, anointed by God, may then create peace: where justice shall roll down like waters, and peace like an ever flowing stream.”
We left filled with hope for a new dawn.
So, I’m still anxious. First, we have a vote in the state judiciary committee to get through, and then we have the vote at the state senate.
There’s much work to do.
But, I feel that hope, stirring.
And, I believe, in my heart, we shall achieve marriage equality this year.
Check out our video to see an excerpt of the program:
Rev. James Ishmael Ford is senior minister at the First Unitarian Church of Providence. He is a social justice activist, theologian, and Zen meditation teacher as well as a parish minister. His most recent book is “If You’re Lucky, Your Heart Will Break: Field Notes from a Zen Life.”
Mar 29, 2013
This post was written by Amy Hinton.
Growing up, the emphasis I learned from my surroundings was that family was important. Family was women getting married and having a family. Family was if you brought children from a previous marriage into a new one that they were treated no different. In all of these things, there was love.
However, there were stirrings in the back of my mind that made me feel different in a way that I kept people at a distance and was probably a bully myself.
To make a long story short: when I was twenty-one years old I found out that I had a genetic condition known as Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, which means that I have XY chromosomes, but I was born and raised physically female. I describe myself as Intersex. A year after finding out that I was intersex, I “came out” as lesbian.
Being intersex has a shame and secrecy attached to it that makes people feel sub-human. I thought being married and having a family was the norm. But then I found out that not only would I never bear children, but without this condition, I would have fathered children, not birthed them. Imagine my shock and confusion for quite some time!
Being intersex female means that my relationship with a woman is seen as a lesbian relationship (homosexual); however, genetically, we’re opposite sex (me XY and she XX). If I were to be with a man, socially we’d be a heterosexual couple, and genetically a homosexual couple.
There is talk about “traditional marriage.” There is talk about going against God’s Word. I grew up with the belief and understanding that marriage was for two people who love each other. Marriage was a bond of love, honor, and friendship..
Jennifer [L] and Amy [R] on their wedding day at Our Home Universalist Unitarian Church, Ellisville, MS, in 2010.
Marriage means many things to many people. As a lesbian, I must look at the legal side of marriage also because those are the benefits I am denied. I am denied the right to be counted as a family on mine or my wife’s medical insurance. We are denied possible tax breaks. We will not be counted for any government benefits after death. Unmarried couples have no legal rights to their partner (gay or straight). There are some instances where the couples can have Power of Attorney, Medical Wills, and other legal documents to protect each other’s rights. When I married my own wife, we had to fill out, notarize, and sign (with witnesses) forms that are about 10 pages long giving each other rights in cases of medical intervention and death. Whereas, those married couples under the law only need one piece of paper – a marriage license.
While it is okay to not be “for” marriage equality, my marriage shouldn’t be banned simply because some religion or political party or individuals don’t agree with it. They are entitled to that belief, but no one is entitled to deny me equal protection under the law.
This post was written by Amy Hinton. You can find her at amyhinton.wordpress.com.
Mar 28, 2013
SSL Campaign Manager Jennifer Toth with post author Jessica Halperin at the Supreme Court.
“What do we want?”
“EQUALITY!”“When do we want it?”
“NOW!”
I’m sure the walls of the Supreme Court’s building were built to withstand the roar of a crowd. I’m also fairly confident that, unfortunately, the nine justices inside couldn’t hear our dance party, our chants for justice, and the noisy conflicts between those for and against marriage equality. Nonetheless, the steps of the Supreme Court felt like a very important place to be. As the Court heard oral arguments on California’s Proposition 8 and the federal Defense of Marriage Act, hundreds gathered on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings to send a message to the world: Marriage is a right that should be available to all people who love each other.
With two full-size Standing on the Side of Love banners and prime real estate on either side of the road in front of the Supreme Court, Unitarian Universalists showed up in numbers. I had a great time chatting with UUs from around the region about why they had taken the morning off work, why they decided to take their kids out of school for a few hours, and why marriage equality is important to them.
Prime real estate in front of the Court. (Credit: Jessica Halperin)
As a member of the Unitarian Universalist Association’s Witness Ministries team, one serious perk of my job is the opportunity to live our faith – live our love – out loud. I was proud in ways I can’t fully express to know that our entire faith community was behind us. We arrived in numbers because of our faith, not just in spite of it, because we know that love and sexuality and diversity are sacred gifts that draw us together into more full humanity. My day-to-day work on reproductive justice gives ample opportunity to live into this call of ours, but it was truly a special few days at the Supreme Court, to publically offer Unitarian Universalism and religious and spiritual affirmation to the movement for justice and liberation for all people who love each other.
I was also very proud to be holding up a corner of the Standing on the Side of Love banner, especially during the tense moments that the National Organization for Marriage rally paraded down the street between the pro-equality crowds.
“2, 4, 6, 8! Kids do better with love, not hate!”
They had a permit for the street, and we were crowded onto the sidewalks and the public space in front of the Court. The SSL banners had front-row seats as the NOM supporters marched by – one of our banners even got in front of the NOM rally! – and it was unnerving to look into their faces and signs. We were literally standing on the side of love. We were also standing on the side of justice and the right side of history. As much as I feared their bigotry, I felt sorry for the NOM marchers. It must be so much less fun to be fighting a losing battle for discrimination than propelling forward a movement all about love.
Calling for LGBTQ-inclusive immigration reform. (Credit: Jessica Halperin)
Speaking of love, this post would be incomplete if I didn’t give a shout out to the folks near us who were witnessing at the intersection of immigration reform and LGBTQ advocacy. We were lucky enough to stand right next to them at the Supreme Court and offer our support and cheers, as the Standing on the Side of Love campaign has before. Their presence was a great reminder that justice is interconnected, intersectional, intertwined.
This post was written by Jessica Halperin, a lifelong Unitarian Universalist from Pittsburgh and the UUA’s Witness Ministries Program Associate. Jess holds the environmental justice and reproductive justice portfolios for the UUA.
Mar 19, 2013
Let us witness together in Washington, DC next Tuesday at A Prayer for Love & Justice and the United for Marriage Rally. Look for the large Standing on the Side of Love banner after the prayer service at 8:30 a.m. and join us in marching to the Supreme Court. We’ll be wearing our yellow SSL shirts; if you have one, please wear it too!
This post was written by Annette Marquis, LGBTQ and Multicultural Program Manager for the Unitarian Universalist Association.
Forty years ago, I first heard the word “homosexual” applied to me. I was eighteen years old when my mother disclosed that a nun from my Catholic girls’ boarding school had called with the news that I was involved in “an unsavory relationship with another girl.” The news devastated her. She never recovered from it. For many years, I yearned for her to accept me as a lesbian. I needed her acceptance to feel whole and it hurt and angered me that she withheld it.
In the eleven years since her death, I’ve come to realize that my mother could no more change who she was than I could become a heterosexual. My mother’s homophobia was not fear of homosexuality, it was fear for her lesbian daughter. Because society disparaged same-sex love so vehemently, she could not reconcile her fear. She feared that others would mistreat me, or at the very least, think less of me, and that, ultimately, God would condemn me. What she feared most of all was that she had done something to cause me to suffer this fate. Ironically, it was her deep love for me in a society filled with hate and intolerance that prevented her from accepting me as a lesbian.
On March 26, 2013, I’ll be attending a 7:15 a.m. prayer service, A Prayer for Love & Justice at the Lutheran Church of the Reformation in Washington, D.C., and then witnessing in front of the United States Supreme Court to join the United for Marriage Rally as the justices hear the first of two cases related to marriage equality for same-sex couples. Later than evening, I will attend Parting the Waters: A Seder for Love, Liberation & Justice. As the LGBTQ and Multicultural Ministries Program Manager for the Unitarian Universalist Association, I will join others as, once again, we stand on the side of love. Most of all, I hope our presence there reminds people that affirming same-sex love matters. If you can join me, wear your Standing on the Side of Love shirt and look for the SSL banner outside the church after the prayer service at about 8:30 a.m.
If you cannot be in DC on March 26, I hope you will join one of the many faith events happening around the country or create one of your own. You can find the full list or register your event at United for Marriage.
In the years since my mother died, nine states–Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Maryland, Maine, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont and Washington, and the District of Columbia–have recognized same-sex marriage. Regardless of the Supreme Court’s rulings on the two cases before them, more states, like Rhode Island and Illinois who are now considering bills, are sure to follow. Hearts and minds are changing. Publically and privately, people are reconsidering long-held beliefs about same-sex relationships and coming out in support.
And yet, I know that full marriage equality is not a panacea. Clerics will still blaspheme LGBTQ people from their pulpits; politicians will continue to deride us in the hope of attracting voters; employers will still fire us; detractors will still beat and kill us. And, because of the hate kindled by these clerics and politicians and employers and attackers, we will still kill ourselves.
But maybe, just maybe, as marriage equality becomes a reality for all Americans, the hate will subside. Maybe lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer-identified youth, whether or not they eventually choose to marry, will have more hope about their lives. And maybe parents will be able to let go of enough of their fear to love and accept their children.
Marriage equality is not just for same-sex couples; it’s for the millions of people who love us and need to know society is not pitted against us. Please join me, so that together we can replace fear with love.
